🌏 ASEAN Giants in Forbes Global 2000 (2025) (with a sprinkle of sarcasm & coffee-fueled wisdom)

 

📊 Quick Stats from the Picture

  • Thailand 🐘: The most crowded team. From energy (PTT) to beer (ThaiBev) to cement (SCG)… basically, they can fuel your car, build your house, AND get you drunk. Efficiency!

  • Indonesia 🦅: Banks everywhere. If you owe money, chances are you owe it to Indonesia.

  • Singapore 🦁: Small country, big wallets. DBS, UOB, OCBC… they don’t just manage money, they manage other people’s money.

  • Malaysia 🐅: Maybank + Tenaga Nasional = they keep your lights on and your money safe. Unless blackout. Then only half the promise.

  • Vietnam 🐉: Vietcombank, BIDV, Techcombank, Vingroup… Imagine a dragon hoarding not gold, but banks.

  • Philippines 🏝️: SM, BDO, Ayala, Meralco… they control malls, electricity, shipping, and your salary. Basically, resistance is futile.

🤣 Humorous Commentary

If ASEAN were a group project:

  • Thailand is that one overachiever who brings 10 slides, 3 charts, and free beer.

  • Indonesia just says, “Don’t worry guys, I’ll handle the banks.”

  • Singapore shows up late but with an iPad Pro, a perfect Excel sheet, and a smug smile.

  • Malaysia provides snacks, power supply, and… sometimes debt advice.

  • Vietnam walks in like a gamer with a squad of banks ready to raid the boss.

  • Philippines is the charismatic one—"Don’t worry, I’ve got the mall booked for after-party.”

Together, they make Forbes go:
“Yeah, let’s put them in Global 2000 before they buy the whole magazine.”

✨ Moral of the story: If you want money, go to Singapore. If you want power, go to Malaysia. If you want both, marry into a Thai or Vietnamese banking family.

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