⚽ 5 Urgent Fixes Manchester United Must Make (Before It Gets Really Ugly)
Manchester United’s start to the Premier League? Honestly, it’s less “Theatre of Dreams” and more “Circus of Nightmares.” 🥲 Coach Ruben Amorim, once celebrated for his tactical wizardry in Portugal, now looks like a magician who pulled a pigeon out of his hat instead of a rabbit.
Here are the five SOS tasks he needs to tackle immediately if United don’t want to turn relegation math into a reality check.
1. 🗺️ Change the Damn Formation
Amorim’s beloved 3-4-2-1 was a masterpiece at Sporting. At Old Trafford? It’s basically fan torture. He’s managed 7 wins, 7 draws, 15 losses — even Ten Hag’s worst record looked better.
👉 Solution: Ditch the stubborn system. Try 4-2-3-1 or 4-3-3 and just win some games. Please.
2. 🦁 Unleash Benjamin Sesko
Two games. Zero goals scored by actual United players. (Thanks, Fulham’s own goal. 🎁) Meanwhile, Sesko is warming the bench like it’s a sauna.
👉 Arsenal started Gyökeres right away. Why is United babysitting Sesko? Just let the man play.
3. 🧤 Pick a Goalkeeper Who Doesn’t Scare Fans
Onana = chaos. Bayindir = anxiety. United fans = blood pressure through the roof. Every cross into the box feels like a horror movie jump scare.
👉 Rumor has it they’re buying Senne Lammens for $23M. Can he do better? The bar is currently on the floor.
4. 🎭 Clarify Bruno Fernandes’ Role
Playing Bruno in central midfield is like using a Ferrari to carry bricks. 🚗🧱 It kills his creativity and slows the team.
👉 Either push him back into the No. 10 role, or take that $80–100M from Al Ittihad and buy a proper central midfielder. Harsh, but fair.
5. 🌟 Trust Kobbie Mainoo
From FA Cup hero to bench ghost in two matches flat. Mainoo must be wondering if Amorim even remembers his name.
👉 Play him now or risk watching him shine for gulp City, Chelsea, or Real Madrid. United can’t afford to hand rivals another star.
📝 Final Whistle
United have Burnley, City, and Chelsea up next. If Amorim doesn’t adjust quickly, the “top four race” could soon become the “mid-table survival battle.” And honestly? August feels way too early for existential dread. 😬
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