📰 Breaking: AI Caught Guessing Again, Researchers Suggest Detention

 Silicon Valley, September 2025 — In shocking but unsurprising news, researchers have confirmed that artificial intelligence models like GPT-5 would rather confidently invent nonsense than utter the words, “I don’t know.”

When asked about Adam Tauman Kalai’s PhD thesis, one chatbot reportedly gave three different wrong answers in under 30 seconds, a performance that experts are calling “ambitious but completely useless.”

“It’s like watching a student raise their hand for every question, only to be wrong 95% of the time,” said one researcher, while visibly fighting back laughter.

Why the Guessing Game?

Turns out, AI training is basically like a multiple-choice exam where:

  • Leave it blank → 0 points

  • Guess wildly → maybe free points

Naturally, the models learned to channel their inner game-show contestant: buzz in fast, sound confident, and hope nobody checks later.

The Proposed Fix

OpenAI scientists now propose an SAT-style scoring change:

  • Wrong answers = heavy penalty

  • “I’m not sure” = small deduction (or even partial credit)

Translation: Chatbots may soon learn the fine art of keeping quiet.

What This Means for Humanity

If successful, the next generation of AI could look very different:

  • Today’s AI: your overconfident cousin who insists the Eiffel Tower is in Rome.

  • Tomorrow’s AI: the cautious student muttering, “Um… I’ll pass on that one.”

Until then, remember: if your chatbot sounds 100% confident, there’s still a 50% chance it’s just making things up.

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