The Funniest Tourist Reviews of the Most Attractive Cities

Travel is supposed to be about culture, history, and soul-searching, but let’s be honest—it’s mostly about food, selfies, and trying not to get lost.


From Osaka to Sapporo, every city has its own charm—and its own way of attacking your wallet, your stomach, or your dignity. Here’s a humorous guide to some of the world’s top tourist cities.

1. Osaka, Japan 🇯🇵 – Score: 3.06

“Food so good here, I almost proposed to a bowl of ramen. Still waiting for its reply.” 

Osaka is a culinary heaven. From street takoyaki to Michelin-starred sushi, your stomach will be working overtime… and so will your Instagram.

2. Paris, France 🇫🇷 – Score: 2.87

“They say Paris is the city of love. Yeah, I loved the croissants more than my ex.” 

Romance is everywhere, but let’s be real: flaky pastries, buttery baguettes, and cafés win hearts faster than the Eiffel Tower.

3. Kyoto, Japan 🇯🇵 – Score: 2.79

“Visited 100 temples. Still couldn’t find Wi-Fi strong enough for Netflix.” 

Historic streets, ancient shrines, and traditional tea houses make Kyoto magical—but internet addicts may suffer.

4. New York, USA 🇺🇸 – Score: 2.36

“Empire State Building? More like Empire State of my credit card bill.” 

Big city energy, endless attractions, and towering skyscrapers come with a side of expensive everything.

5. Seoul, South Korea 🇰🇷 – Score: 2.29

“K-pop, K-drama, K-barbeque… I think I need a K-therapist now.” 

Seoul dazzles with entertainment, nightlife, and delicious Korean barbecue—but it’s also a sensory overload.

6. London, UK 🇬🇧 – Score: 1.89

“It rained so much, I started considering an umbrella as a permanent body part.” 

Historic charm meets unpredictable weather. Pack layers… and an eternal sense of humor.

7. Bangkok, Thailand 🇹🇭 – Score: 1.55

“Street food here costs $1, but tastes like a million-dollar Michelin star.” 

Bangkok is vibrant, chaotic, and delicious—your taste buds will thank you, your wallet won’t mind, and your camera will never rest.

8. Rome, Italy 🇮🇹 – Score: 1.43

“Came for the Colosseum, stayed for the pizza… and then rolled out like a gladiator.” 

History, architecture, and food collide in Rome. Prepare to eat, walk, and repeat.

9. Dubai, UAE 🇦🇪 – Score: 1.35

“Even the police cars here are Lamborghinis. Meanwhile, I can’t even afford the parking.” 

Luxury, skyscrapers, and shopping beyond belief. Dubai is a playground for the rich… and an aspirational dream for the rest of us.

10. Okinawa, Japan 🇯🇵 – Score: 1.22

“Beach so pretty, I almost threw away my phone to become a coconut farmer.” 

Paradise vibes, turquoise waters, and serenity—but you might get too relaxed to return home.

11–18: Quick Laughs Around the World

  • Fukuoka, Japan (1.18): “Ramen here hit me harder than my student loans.” 

  • Tokyo, Japan (1.08): “Shibuya Crossing has more people than my hometown’s population. Twice.” 

  • Washington, USA (0.96): “Great monuments, but I still didn’t find Nicolas Cage hunting treasure.” 

  • Los Angeles, USA (0.89): “Hollywood stars everywhere! Too bad they were all on the sidewalk.” 

  • Singapore (0.88): “Got fined for chewing gum… but honestly, the streets are so clean I’d eat dinner off them.” 

  • Jeju, South Korea (0.88): “Volcano island so beautiful, I almost forgot it could technically explode.” 

  • Chicago, USA (0.87): “Deep-dish pizza is not food, it’s a lifestyle commitment.” 

  • Sapporo, Japan (0.82): “Beer festival here turned me into a temporary karaoke champion. Temporary.” 

Every city has its magic: some make you fall in love, some make you go broke, and some just make you fat (looking at you, Chicago and Osaka 👀).

So, the real question isn’t which city to visit—it’s which city would survive you?

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