Back then, I dreamed of so many things…
Somewhere Between Then and Now
Fifteen years after graduation, we never expected to meet again to see off an old friend to a cold, misty place. Memories suddenly rushed back—some vivid, some forgotten. All the promises we once made had long since become the past. None of us realized that after all those years, we had become strangers to one another.
A childhood friend who once dreamed of becoming a TV reporter or editor has now left that path to go into business. Her children are growing day by day, and the weight of financial pressure is too heavy for her to leave her husband to shoulder alone.
The boy who once longed to travel the world and live boldly in distant lands has chosen to anchor his life in the quiet hometown. With aging parents waiting day and night, he cannot chase his dream of roaming freely.
The young man who once ran through the bustling streets to give me my first sweet candy has now become a father of two, with the mother of his children being someone else. I, too, no longer visit that corner of the street.
Suddenly, I wondered: what did I wish for back then? Had I let something slip through my fingers? The image of my younger self passed by like a faint shadow.
Friends looked at me in curiosity. Where was the short-haired, radiant girl they once knew? Now, they only saw long hair and tired eyes. At the office, I once defended an intern against colleagues’ unfair treatment, thinking that standing on the side of right would earn respect. Yet the boss trusted only those who flattered and smoothed things over. I was criticized, isolated—not just by the company, but even by the girl I had defended. Life, I realized, is like this: if you insist on rigid principles even in defense of what’s right, you risk breaking under pressure.
There were days when I closed my eyes to colleagues’ mistakes, then drowned in frustration over unclear rules from above. Days of meetings, paperwork, project planning stretched into the night. Missed meals to meet deadlines, sleepless nights to finish goals, and exhaustion in a tiny city apartment surrounded by the hum of life outside. Work was simply work, and after all, I only wished for a steady paycheck, without having to wait or hope.
Returning to the places we once met, walking the streets I once wandered, I suddenly saw how many years had passed through hope and disappointment, happiness and fear, waiting and longing… And I asked myself, what are we truly searching for in life? Sometimes, adrift at the edges, it’s hard to know where my own “lighthouse” stands.
People often ask, if you could go back in time, what would you say to yourself? The girl and the boy at eighteen or twenty, full of passion, didn’t know they were living the most beautiful years of their lives. Friends at their side were the best they could hope for, and the moments of laughter were the purest happiness.
The little dreams we once boasted about now give way to houses, cars, or bank balances. Amid the struggle of daily life, who can chase a dream that never comes true forever? We must adapt. But if I could return to my twenties, I would simply tell myself: no matter how life changes, no matter the twists and turns you face, never lose that hint of dreamy wonder. Pause to admire a newly bloomed flower, linger under the shade of green leaves, watch a flock of birds take flight—so your heart can still feel wide, light, and free. After all, the sky above remains blue, and happiness still glimmers… somewhere out there.
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