Billionaires Invest Billions to Live Forever, Because Yachts Just Aren’t Enough
Silicon Valley, 2025 — Forget supercars and private islands. The world’s billionaires have a new toy: immortality. With more than $5 billion already poured into biotech startups, tech moguls are chasing the dream of living to 150. Apparently, when you’re rich enough, even death looks like a negotiable contract.
The 150-Year Midlife Crisis
Scientists say humans might max out somewhere between 120 and 150 years. But that hasn’t stopped Peter Thiel (who has already invested over $700 million) or Sam Altman (apparently bored of running OpenAI) from throwing their fortunes at companies promising to turn back the biological clock.
Altos Labs alone raised $3 billion to “reprogram” cells, while Insilico Medicine brought in $500 million to develop anti-aging drugs with AI. The rest of us are still struggling to afford gym memberships, but sure, let’s cheer for the billionaires who want to spend eternity eating kale.
The Fountain of Youth, Now Available in Venture Capital Rounds
The “longevity gold rush” has three flavors:
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Cell reprogramming — Turning old cells young again, hopefully without creating a Marvel supervillain.
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Disease therapies — Tackling age-related illnesses so billionaires don’t sneeze themselves into oblivion.
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Commercial products — Because nothing says “science” like a $200 “anti-aging smoothie.”
Personal Vendettas Against Death
For some billionaires, this is deeply personal. Naveen Jain founded Viome after his father died of cancer, investing $30 million to make aging “optional.” Stéphane Bancel of Moderna skipped lunch once, loved it, and then raised $47 million for a fasting-mimicking diet company. Vinod Khosla says science could make a 70-year-old feel 40 again—which is great, except he still refuses to dress like a 40-year-old.
The Immortal Elephant in the Room
Can humans actually live that long? Scientists aren’t so sure. Animal trials have shown promise, but the side effects include a pesky little problem called “cancer.” Kristen Fortney, CEO of BioAge, remains upbeat despite halting a trial for safety concerns:
“Plenty of people already live past 100. Why not everyone?”
Experts warn, however, that “longevity” has become more marketing buzzword than medical breakthrough. Right now, the real secret to a long life remains… boring stuff like diet, social connections, and not being stressed out all the time. Try putting that on a venture capital pitch deck.
TikTok Knows Best
When asked if humans could one day live to 300, Harvard scientist William Mair replied:
“I don’t know. But that answer won’t get me views on TikTok, will it?”
For now, it seems the billionaires’ quest to beat death is less about eternal youth and more about proving one thing: when you have too much money, even your midlife crisis requires a biotech startup.
VanQual - source: Wall Street Journal
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